I think that my failure was due to psychological factors and a very fast paced curriculum.

Now I want to go back to math because when I was a child I liked it quite a lot and recently I discovered my interest in computers. I've never tried programming but maybe in future I will.

I also enjoy watching numberphile videos because they show beauty of mathematics.

I would also try to prove myself I am not so stupid as I've thought since high-school.

What do you suggest I study, where should I start and what to focus on?

Last week I started pre algebra on khan academy and I already knew about 3/4 of it, the rest is new to me. I think it would be necessary to take algebra after that.

What should I study after algebra? I enjoy geometry like constructing shapes when given angles and calculating area of something. I also enjoy learning about patterns and properties of numbers when numberphile explains it.

I really suck at functions and I never understood them. I had real problems working with abstract letters when I had no idea what they meant.

I know there are many areas of mathematics but I don't know what they deal with. Can you give me an advice how to build my basics and what topic should I study on more advanced level?

My purpose is mainly to be able to see elegance and beauty and to train my brain. Just maybe I might need it in future for programming but I am not sure if I will ever go that direction.

Thank you.